So now I know.

The Rhapsodic Oracle had told me the following:


What do you think of me, Rhapsody?
Stereotypes, Blur. Fuck you, Rhapsody.

Will I have a happy life?
California, Gomez. That's more of a place than an answer.

What do my friends think of me?
[Untitled], Oasis. Is that the equivalent of "[expletive deleted]"?

Do people secretly lust after me?
Seven Nation Army, White Stripes. That's a lot of people.

How can I make myself happy?
See America Right, Mountain Goats. So I should get blitzed and travel. Gotcha.

What should I do with my life?
The Scientist, Coldplay. A bit late to be telling me this, Rhapsody. Seriously.

Why must life be so full of pain?
Devils Haircut, Beck. Sorry, Vito. Looks like I have to move on.

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
Susanne, Weezer. Ladies? You know my number.

Can you give me some advice?
Guns Blazing, U.N.K.L.E. Um... that's a little frightening.

What do you think happiness is?
The Second One, Remy Shand. I do find that after two drinks, life improves.

I may tell you to run

Today, I send you on your way to other parts of the nets.

Here's a story on the Playstation symbols, and what their common meanings are in Japan. Found on digg.

In unrelated news, Peter now has a blog. Enjoy.

And, just in case you were wondering what to do with your mouth tonight, Ginger Altoids are frackin' awesome.

Move and the bloomin' onion gets it.

Outback Steakhouse: No rules, just right.

103.3 The Edge: Break all the rules, there are no rules, rules are for wusses.

At what point did anarchy become a marketing tool? A healthy disrespect for authority is a major part of the American persona, sure, but no rules? The war of all against all? Does that really convince anyone to buy things? All I could envision as I ate dinner were fisticuffs and screaming matches lit by wallaby-shaped neon.

Now you know.

Word of the day: perquisite.

The Dictionary.com def: A payment or profit received in addition to a regular wage or salary, especially a benefit expected as one's due.

I had no idea "perks" was short for something. Awesome.

Big Paper

What happens when a videogame fanatic marries an illustrator? Arguments about concept art.

My argument: The person on the left is a girl.
Hers: Nuh-uh.
Mine: Yes-huh.

After a little reading, it would appear that the "nuh-uh" line of reasoning is the correct one. But cut me some slack here -- look at those eyelashes. I'm holding out for the game to see if 'he' ends up being a girl in disguise.

We're all like this.

As the life-consuming MMORPG's and my efforts to resist them have been on my mind recently (heck, I've only posted once since first talking about it), that's what you're getting today. It's like they're frickin' following me around, waiting to pounce. Here's an excerpt from a recent email from one of my brothers:

"I picked Final Fantasy XI back up again. I dropped it about 7 months ago. Now with a lot of the nwer update the game is great and it helps that I'm not making some of the mistakes I made before. Like bad gil spending and not sticking with a class."

It's always good to hear your brother is learning from his digital mistakes. Wouldn't want him besmirching the family name in the online world. Also, why play a game that's so similar to real life? Spending money poorly and changing careers frequently have repercussions? Doesn't sound like much of a fantasy to me.

Shine on your brother

There are some peaceniks on Gates Circle. They've got some signage, little candles, and a guitar. Several incarnations of "the news" is there.

Assuming that this is an anti-war demonstration, I say the following: Come on now people. Go ahead and express yourself if it makes you feel better, but if you really want to make a change, go through the legitimate channels. Tell your congressman you're not going to vote for him again if your demands are not met. Get a bunch of people to say that. Then your congressman will go to work and your voice will be heard. It may not be perfect, but it's the best we've come up with so far.

Close one

I played a dangerous game yesterday. I discussed Worlds of Warcraft with a friend. Several of my friends and relatives have fallen prey to the Massively Multiplayer Online Role-playing genre, spending hours of their time running around in fake worlds with other enthusiasts. My understanding of the gameplay went as follows:

#1 - It's just like a regular videogame, but there all kinds of annoying real-world people running around bugging you.

#2 - You start off and people pick on you because you are new. Then you spend all kinds of time doing boring shit because you need to level up. Once you're at a respectable level, the newcomers ask you for stuff all the time.

#3 - Any time you do too well, the company that maintains the game sends somebody in to slap you around.

#4 - It's expensive, time-consuming, and unforgivably geek-ass.

Now, all of these things may or not be true. Nonetheless, people just love the hell out this Worlds of Warcraft game. So what's the draw? I've heard that the social aspect is fun, that you team up with your friends and do stuff, that there's a great deal of variety of diversions. Still, though... pretending to be a magical elf-warrior? Come on.

So, I quiz a compatriot of mine on the game last night. His answers were satisfactory. Almost too satisfactory.

So, you don't have to fight anybody?
No, man. I don't player-kill. And you can level up by doing quests. Like "bring me some stuff" kind of things.

What do you do?
I'm a tailor. I make armor, bags, and stuff like that. I sell it to people, or give it away.

Are there sports?
Kind of. There are places where you can join a team of capture-the-flag and stuff like that.

This all sounded fine. A lot better than the "go hunting for beasties, raid their dead bodies for currency, spend that currency on better gear, repeat" formula I expected. As he went into detail of how the various races and classes interact, something caught my fading attention: "...different languages..."

Turns out the different races speak different languages, and if your character doesn't speak them, the text the other users type come out as gibberish. As a language-geek, this raised a mighty eyebrow.

Fortunately, there's no way my machine could run the game. Otherwise, I have a real fear that some night I'd end up drunkenly setting up Atharien, the Enchanter Linguist.

Continuing saga

So, I figured out to do with the old NES -- fix it. Now if I could only find my damn games. Basement? Closet? My brothers? College roommate? I know I've got a light gun and a game genie around somewhere too. I'll keep you posted.

Ah-woooo

Finally stepping to the plate, Greg decided that a comment on the vampire-rules-all post just wasn't enough, and decided to harass me via email. The results follow.


Greg - I just read your little vampire post. Who do you think you're kidding?

Alex - Dude. For the purposes of that post, werewolves turn into regular old wolves. Not jacked-up uberwolfmen. I kid no one!

Greg - For the purposes of that post? You can't just change the rules under that auspice.

Alex - And by your rationale, I should be using the vampire powers laid out in Anne Rice, or even Castlevania. The concept was classic v classic. It's not my fault your precious werewolves suck.

Greg - You did use the vampire powers laid out in castlevania. Specifically, Symphony of the Night.

If we're taking about the lonely count in the castle, then you ought to take the wolfman against him since they're both romantic flavored tales. If we're talking about the very first myths, take Lycaon, but then take the nosferatu skeevy bugger who simply drinks human blood.

If we're talking about legends, well the man-into-wolf is one. The man into ferocious dire-wolf immune to normal weapons is another (loup-garou). The man into 15ft tall hulking, furred, clawed, fanged biped who rides the winds, disappears by turning sideways and hunts with the aid of evil spirits is yet another (wendigo).

Sorry to keep on this. Academically, I just don't think the proper comparisons were made.

Alex - I meant "DARK METAMORPHOSIS!!!" etc.

You know, I agree. Dracula was not the origin of the vampire legend, and thus should not necessarily have counted. Or, if I was going to use the earliest popularization of the legend, I should have used... The Wolfman or something. I'll be sure to post your statements for all to see, Mr, Wikipedia.

Greg - The wikipedia was of no help to me. I went there, but it had nothing that I didn't already know on the subject. I had to search the far corners of the internet to verify my knowledge on those obscure bits!

Touching is good.

I continue to lay the groundwork for my pending purchase of a Nintendo DS. Today, on yet another trip to Target, I showed Her Worshipfulness Nintendogs, complete with cooing "awwwlookatim" noises, and even she could not resist the cuteness. Everything is going according to plan.

Bwa ha ha ha haaaaaa...

Recently played Castlevania: Seemphony Of De Naaayt. Fantastic game in which you are the son of Dracula and some human chick and are trying to keep ol' Vlad from returning to life because you like people. There are four different endings, depending on how you beat the game. I took the time to get the fourth ending, and let me tell you, even having removed any "oh my god this is so frickin cheesy" thoughts from my mind, I was disappointed.

You see, in the third ending, the son of Drac tells his boon companions that he's off to kill himself to end the line of Nosferatu forever. In the fourth, it's the same deal, except that one of the said companions runs off after him, apparently under the impression that her amorous intentions would keep him from driving a stake through his heart.

Are you kidding me? If you're going to go through the effort of making a tale of Gothic horror, don't make the ending be about getting the girl. Where's your head at, Konami?

Poll

OK kids. Here's another B A Start poll!

My old NES is no worky-worky, and I want to do something horribly nerdy with the case. But what? Best I can come up with is a drink-holder, but I'm sure we can do better.

Smartmouth

Started another blog project, a smallish parody of our beloved Elmwood community:

http://buffalodropping.blogspot.com/

Titmouse

Today I engaged in a conversation about old computers, and the Wang came up.

"You think that's bad? I used have to use the Wang. We'd have to go the Wang room. 'Hey, you done in there? I really need the Wang!'"

How the hell am I supposed to keep a straight face? Huh? How?

I'm right, you know.

Just to set things straight one and for all. All things being equal, a vampire could beat a werewolf in a fight with little issue. Vampires can turn into bats, mist, wolves, and who knows what else. They can climb walls and move fast. Werewolves can only turn into wolves. If you go in for this business of werewolves turning into giant jacked-up bipedal killing machines with opposable thumbs, you've fallen prey to the hype. Werewolves turn into wolves and that's it, and only at the full moon.

Vampires could also beat unicorns. Anyone with a decent weapon could beat a unicorn -- that horn is for ornamental purposes only. About the only thing unicorns are good for is appearing to virgins.

A werewolf, on the other hand, might have some trouble besting a unicorn. (Thanks to Sarah for the link. She knows me all too well.) Pit a wolf against a horse sometime -- it would be roughly similar to that.