Saturday, May 16, 2009

Get "In God We Trust" off the money.

To say "In God We Trust" is to say that there is a "we" of unified belief in a deity. This is not true.

If I were to put a poster of a swimsuit model up in my office, this would be deemed harassment. I would have created a hostile work environment for my coworkers without saying a word.

Perhaps not the best metaphor, but the same goes for putting "In God We Trust" on our money, having our schoolchildren declare their allegiance daily to a nation under God, and having prayer open Senate sessions. By doing these things, we are saying "not welcome" to people who do not believe in the monotheist's god. It is exclusive, divisive, and contrary to the spirit of our nation.

My opinion that "In God We Trust" should not be on our money is not founded in ungodliness, atheism, or any anti-religious sentiment. All people most certainly have the right to relate to the divine in any way they choose. It is for precisely that reason that our government's actions should not put one belief before another. You don't have to believe in the Judeo-Christian god to be an American. Thus the "We" is a misnomer, and makes people feel as if this country does not want or respect them.

The issue of what the founding fathers wanted is one of fervent debate. I posit that it doesn't really matter one way or the other. These are people who decided to keep slavery legal and that women shouldn't vote -- their opinions on social matters don't carry as much weight as they used to. If the whole lot of them had signed a document that clearly said "we're a Christian nation", I would say that we should throw that doctrine away.

Thursday, May 07, 2009


A relative of Her Worshipfulness's says I look like Ben. I took me several iterations of this to realize she meant not some relative or friend, but rather Ben Affleck. Now, the veracity of this observation aside, it brings to light a social development which I simply do not understand: reference to celebrities by first names only.

How do you know which Jen is "Jen"? How does one receive this Kane-like honorific-free honor? Who decides? Does it change? Was it Jennifer Garner at one point? I was just at Dash's and the latest rag declared the nuptials of two people I've never even seen before, but who are listed by first names only.

Sunday, May 03, 2009

Hedge Your Bets

He casually scratched at his beer gut, eyes surveying the green plane of lawn he had just finished mowing. His pre-faded baseball cap basked where he had tossed it, and the sight of it warmed his heart a little for a reason he could not -- or perhaps did not want to -- quite grasp.

It was then that he knew his journey down the path towards utter domesticity was farther along than he had realized.