Get a job

Took a day off and took the kids out shopping today. The 9-to-5 cityscape weirds me out every time. Everyone on the street has the look of a person who doesn't spend enough time in conversation with other functioning members of society. I do not belong among the daytime denizens of this mirror-city, and they know it. Each time I venture out into their territory -- lands which are the demesne of me and mine at night -- I fear they will suddenly and without warning take arms against me, sparing a few moments to beat me to death with their hands, and then return to their odd, highly-regimented daily routines with the same speed and non-chalance as my blood seeps into the sun-lit asphault.

Not possible.

This drives me crazy. How? How?!? HOW?!?! HOW, GOD DAMN IT, HAAAAAAAAAAAA-OHHH-OOOOO?

No help

Apparently there comes a point in one's career past which people care about what you do outside of work. Associations, volunteer organizations, and whatnot. Not really my bag, which may become a problem fairly quickly. Here's an example of why I am not destined for any board rooms:

The setting -- my porch. A co-worker walks by as some friends and I carouse.

Professional young woman: I have a JLA meeting tomorrow.
Alex: You're in the Justice League of America?!?
PYW: That's what my husband said. It's the Junior League, a women's community organization.
Alex: Huh. Is there a Senior League? Is it all men?
PYW: I'm going to go home and go to bed. Work tomorrow.
Alex: I'm going to continue drinking on my porch. Work tomorrow.

nine years

Her Worshipfulness's cousin has invaded, and the occupation forces are strong. I called for reinforcements last night, under the auspices of wanting to give her a choice of men to glean attention from. I have fears for today's plans, and here's why:

HW: So, we can drop you off any time you want.
Cousin: Oh, don't worry. I'm in no rush.

No...

Holy shit! Snow Crash is on Time's 100 best novels of all time!

I read this book after my roommate's copy of Entertainment Weekly (which he never subscribed to, nor paid for, but presumably still receives to this day) said Cryptonomicon was going to be good. T'wasn't out yet, so I picked up Snow Crash. 100% awesome. I'd lend you my copy, but some other member of the Geek Nation has it. I think.

I'm so excited, I'm adding a new button.

fingers crossed

I think this confirmation is the final one. My favorite part -- "a younger character with no gadgets". Here's hoping they can dispense with the camp and make 007 worth watching again.

Never happen

Another excellent wedding this weekend.

At the aforementioned wedding, I asked a friend and his girlfriend how their recently purchased Playstation 2 has been working out. I was perfunctorily told that they have been playing Tiger Woods, and then heard a sentence I had never thought I would:

Ashley: "Chris made me a player."

Someone had finally done it. Someone had broken down decades of resistance and convinced his girl to play videogames.

Alex: "Really? That's great! I can't believe it!"
Ashley: "I've got a skort."

Hmm... so, she plays videogames in a skort? (I'm inferring from the horizontal slashing motion she made mid-thigh and the spork-like term that this word is meant to describe an article of clothing that's somehow both a skirt and pair of shorts. Feel free to write in if I'm wrong). Do gamer girls wear skorts? Did these two go to Hot Topic and say "give me everything that geek chicks wear"? Had they taken it that far? In mind appeared a vision of Ashley in a plaid skirt (I still can't figure out what a skort would look like. Something like one hand clapping, I think), black boots, and an anime T-shirt sitting in Chris's living-room mashing buttons.

Alex: "Did he buy you a pink tanktop that says "gamer" or something?
Ashley (befuddled look): "In the game. In Tiger Woods. My player wears a skort."
Alex: "Uh... heh-heh. Who needs a drink?"

Testy

I love me some language. I don't think any B A Starters will be surprised to hear that I got several 'Very strongly biased toward the Northeast United States' responses on this test.

Whew!

The Resistance Achtung! You are 30% brainwashworthy, 22% antitolerant, and 80% blindly patriotic

Welcome to the Resistance (Der Widerstand)! You believe in freedom, justice, equality, and your country, and you can't be converted to the the dark side. Breakdown: your Blind Patriotism levels are borderline unhealthy, but you show such a love of people from everywhere and a natural resistance to brainwashing, you would probably focus your energy to fight the Fuehrer with furor, so to speak. Conclusion: born and raised in Germany in the early 1930's, you would have taken up ARMS against the oppressors. Or even your friends' oppressors. Congratulations! Less than 5% of all test takers earn a spot in the Resistance! The Would You Have Been A Nazi? Test - it rules -

My test tracked 3 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender: You scored higher than 33% on brainwashworthy You scored higher than 25% on antitolerant You scored higher than 94% on patriotic

Link: The Would You Have Been a Nazi Test written by jason_bateman on Ok Cupid, home of the 32-Type Dating Test

Not safe

The funny thing is, they found this dog...

So, they found the real Ithaca. I didn't know the current Ithaca wasn't the real Ithaca. I guess that adds another stop to the Geek Tour of the Mediterranean.